Draft Edit & FeedBack

I asked people for feedback on my draft edit. I was told to add sounding in other than ambient sound, as in the slow motion sections, the sound doesn't match and sounds out of place. I contacted a local band and got permission to use one of their tracks to disguse the slowed down ambient sound. I also think this would be appropriate to the video, as at the beginning the girl puts head phones in, and the final shot is of the headphones. I selected my track as the lyrics are relevant to the story line, that someone is coming to "get them" and kill them.
Here are a few examples:
- "Your time is running out"
- "This is a blackout, And you’ll find out, it’s gonna come and take everything you love away"

Also I feel that the repeated "going out" will create tention for my film as the sounding speeds up and the voice is partly echoed/whispered. This also creates a spooky like atmosphere. The song that I will use is Save Our Selves (The Warning) - The Blackout. I contacted them to get permission via twitter, and print screened their reply giving me permission to use their track.

The final shot at the end, I, and others noticed, was a different lighting to the shot before. I need to refilm this in the same lighting so it doesn't look like it's filmed in a different location. I was also told that to end my final shot with a zoom of the headphones wasn't a very strong shot, so I may consider cutting this shot all together when re-editing. Others felt that ending with the film with the shot of the girl lay dead on the bed, would be more effective.

People I aksed for feedback, also commented on the amount of scenes I had edited in slow motion. They said that I had edited too many scenes in slow motion, which was not only making my film fairly long, but dragged a bit. To resolve this, I plan to take the slow motion edit off a couple of my scenes to speed the film up, which will hopefully make the film apear like it is no longer dragging.

I was told to add more titles, and do more research into titles as mine weren't very interesting. I could change the font, the colour, and the places within my film that they apear. To help me with this, I plan to watch youtube videos of thrillers to give me ideas. I also need to leave the title of the film up for longer, as people may miss it and not think the film is titled. I also plan to change the film name as people thought it wasn't imaginative enough.

From the girl running in the field, to the point of where she is running up the stairs, there is to much of a 'jump.' This leads people to wonder whether it is even the same girl/to how she got there. I therefore plan to film a short extra scene of her opening the door, taking off her coat, and then walking up the stairs as this will not mislead my audience.